The Book of Neo-Genesis - A spoof on "Evolution"

The Book of Neo-Genesis
A spoof on the Pagan Darwinist religion
By: WebPastor David Todeschini

© Copyright 2004, 2005 – David J. Todeschini
Conditional distribution permitted.[1]

Posted by: WebPastor David Todeschini

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NOTE: Please do not read past a word you don’t understand. Footnotes are provided for all of the words that normal Americans do not encounter in everyday life. There are many Latin words and some legal terminology used here. Please bear with it. Your vocabulary will imrove a bit after you read the following pages and look up the meanings of the Latin words and legal terminology. This terminology is necessary to lend the intended “flavor” to the humor. Belief in “Big Bangs” and “Evolution” may seem harmless, but it is a serious aberration of the truth.

The photos: from the Hubble Space Telescope – downloaded from the NASA website. The photographs from distant galaxies serve further to illustrate the awesomeness of God’s Creation. King David writing in the Psalms was astounded by Creation – especially Man – when he wrote:


“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well”. – Psalms 139:14 KJV


A Publication of
Net4TruthUSA Christian Ministry
WebPastor: Rev. David J. Todeschini


THE BOOK OF NEO-GENESIS

Atheists,[2] Agnostics,[3] Big Bangers,[4] and Evolutionists[5] are loathe to admit it, but their “science”, which is expounded upon in the textbooks of secular schools and universities, printed in the world's thousands of science magazines and journals, and the basis for “educational” television programming, is falling apart at the seams.

Man has always (historically) been reluctant to part with his erroneous view of the world, and this fact can be borne out by reading the science textbooks of antiquity. In retrospect, it is amazing what people believed was true about the world and the universe-at-large. We think ourselves “modern”, and somehow we have come to believe that science is “above” all of that old-time ignorance of ages past; that science today is quick to accept newly proven facts, and incorporate those facts into the body of knowledge from which we draw our world-view. If this is so, then can someone please tell me why Ernst Haeckel's fraud: “Ontogeny recapitulates Phylogeny” - the idea that a human embryo has “gill pouches” and evolves in vivo,[6] is still in our biology textbooks 130 years after it was proven to be a complete fraud? Can anyone explain to me why Neanderthal Man - the once-touted “missing link” between us and monkeys, is still in the textbooks...after it was proven to be just a very old, and very human being with arthritis? Well, if no one will venture a guess, I'll give you my theory for what it's worth:

Firstly, there is the matter of philosophy. The philosophic tenets of “science”, expressly forbid non-naturalistic causes to be postulated[7] for anything, and assumes that there can't be, and was not ever, an “un-caused cause” aka: “Prime Mover Unmoved”[8]... in layman's terms, they don't believe in God.

In other words, and in the secular humanist way of thinking, God not only had nothing to do with the existence of the universe, but God himself does not exist; God (to them) is the “rug” under which is swept anything that science cannot explain. The scientists who hold to this philosophy, quickly paint themselves into a corner when confronted with the fact that life is irreducibly complex, and DNA[9] is actually information - not that much different than a computer program, but billions of orders of magnitude more complex than anything man has ever designed... or even thought about, for that matter. Information does not come about by a series of fortuitous accidents. Secondly, there is the matter of investment. The amount of money invested in books, magazines, and media materials in which this “science” falsely so-called[10] appears, is staggering; it would all be so much kindling for a bonfire if they were to admit their lies, and redact the errors from the textbooks. Thirdly, there is the matter of credibility and reputation. If the truth (of the Bible) would (again) to be commonly accepted by the brainwashed public, the scientists would lose face, and funding from the private sector would dry up almost immediately, and public funds via government grants would soon follow suit. The bottom line is that belief in Darwinian-style Evolution is a religion; you have to BELIEVE that there is no God, and that man, and all life on earth arose out of non-life (ultimately from inorganic rocks); it cannot be empirically proven. Evolution in the Darwinist sense is not a theory at all; it is a fantasy that has to be accepted on FAITH. There is no evidence at all to support it, and the “evidence” has been tendered in the past to attempt to support the theory, has ALL been proven to be an error, or an outright fraud. Therefore, it occurred to me that what the Big Bangers and Evolutionists need, is a Bible to go with their religion. Once they are accepted by the IRS as a bona-fide religion, they can then ordain ministers, preachers, and become §501 (c) (3) [tax exempt] corporations and preach Darwinism to their heart's content. Those of us who know better can then seize the opportunity to sue them in Federal Court for “violation of the separation of Church and State”, because the government would then be “officially” guilty of sponsoring that religion in our public schools. In this little treatise, I’ve given the Darwinists a head start on their “Bible” on the following pages:

CHAPTER ONE
NEO-GENESIS 1 x 209 (+/-) BC

1. In the beginning, there was really no beginning, as time did not yet exist; and to begin, there must be a time to start, but there was no time. Therefore, you really couldn't start anything, because you'd never know when it would be finished.
2. There was only a tiny speck of infinite density where there was literally nothing - not even empty space.
3. And the speck was comprised of everything that was to be, but it was really nothing at all in the middle of nowhere, and ex-post-facto[11], man called it a Singularity.[12]
4. And the Singularity itself, was both nothing, and the potential to become everything at the same time, in a no-place where there was no time.
5. There was no time; because time is an apparency;[13] a perception of motion. And you can't have time without motion, or motion without space to move in, and the time to get there.
6. And there was no motion for lack of the space to move about; there was no inside or outside, or up or down, left or right, or sideways.
7. And there was no sentient[14] being to perceive that there was nothing moving, and that there was no point of reference to be able to tell.
8. But the Singularity was pregnant with a potential universe.
9. And there was Nada[15] which ab initio,[16] was a de-facto component of the Singularity, because there existed no space per se[17], in which to be.
10. And Nada was Ennoia Sans Mentis.[18]
11. And nothing was in the middle of Niente,[19] where the Singularity was semper eadem;[20] there was zilch[21] - nothing to do, and no place to go, and nobody to do nothing with, or go nowhere with.
12. And it was boring as hell, but it mattered not, for there was nobody around to complain that it was boring, and nobody to complain TO.
13. And the Ennoia[22] was per accidens;[23] an apparency...it wasn't really real… not really!
14. Then the Nada thought, “Terribilus es locus iste”,[24] and the postulate was pro se'[25] for Nada was Sui Generis.[26]
15. Sua sponte,[27] the Singularity began to spin. The spinning started without a cause – for no reason at all. But there was no time, ergo[28] no cause and effect, and no Prime Mover Unmoved, so who needs a reason?
16. And the Nada contemplated the non-sequituer[29] on a visceral[30] level, and became non compos mentis[31] and then the Singularity exploded in situ,[32] again, un-caused, and for no reason at all.
17. And man, ex-post facto, called the first 10-43 seconds “a quantum[33] of time”, and called the explosion “The Big Bang”. But there was not yet an eye to see, nor an ear to hear; and the first three billion years was the Prius Diem.[34]
18. And thus matter came into existence Ex-Nihilio.[35]
19. And the matter in limine[36] was very, very hot gas and dust.
20. Niente and nothing became empty space, and the space expanded so that there was someplace for the everything; the matter that appeared out of nowhere, to go.
21. And the dust and gas came together by the attraction of gravity, in violation of Boyle's gas laws, and formed hot blobs of dirt and gas.
22. And darkness was upon the Mundo de Novo.[37]


23. But there was no eye to see that it was dark, and that there was no light, so who cared? There was nobody around who could give a damn, to give a damn.
24. Then the biggest clods of dust and gas ignited by nuclear fusion and became suns. Really BIG suns collapsed under their own mass and weight, and became black holes. The hot blobs that the suns spit out into space became the planets after they had cooled off for a few billion years.
25. And thus there was light; and man, ex-post-facto called the light “day”, and the darkness he called “night”; but man had not evolved[38] yet.
26. And the next three billion years was the Secundum Diem.[39]
27. Then, about 4.5 billion years ago, the earth cooled down and developed a hard, rocky crust.
28. And the Nada Sans Mentis said, “Aquam Dare”.[40]
29. And it rained on the rocks for millions and billions of years; the rocks eroded into a primordial[41] ocean of minerals and chemicals, and other really stinky stuff.
30. And the minerals and chemicals floated around in the oceans for billions of years, and festered and fermented.
31. And thus there was Budweiser and Mad Dog 20/20.[42]
32. There was acid rain, and thunderous, vicious lightning,
33. Earthquakes, volcanoes erupting, and rivers of hot, molten lava;
34. There was air pollution, and a big hole in the ozone layer. The air stunk so bad, it was enough to knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon.
35. The minerals and chemicals in the oceans mixed together to form Macro-Molecules.[43]
36. And the Earth and the universe was ataktos.[44]
37. Then the Macro Molecules came together inter se',[45] and they postulated the animus[46] to become organic.
38. And so the macromolecules became the first primitive living cells.

39. And the first cell being androgyne[47] and sans parentis,[48] divided, becoming two identical cells.
40. And each of the two cells in turn, similarly divided, and became four.
41. In like manner, the four became eight.
42. And the eight became sixteen... you know... like a geometrical progression.
43. In loco parentis,[49] the cells continued to divide and multiply ad infinitum.[50] And all of them were ejusdem generis.[51]
44. But the cells bumped into rocks, and got hurt and bruised, and squished.
45. And the beta rays, gamma rays, cosmic rays, and x-rays from the sun caused the cells to mutate.[52]
46. So the cells got together bona fide[53], with animus to become complex, multi-cellular organisms, in order for them to survive Pro Bono Publico.[54]
47. Because the cells were all in loco parentis, and androgyne, there was no such thing as sex.
48. And inter se' they said, “This ain't no fun... to Hell with this!”
49. So some of them became male,
50. And some of them became female,
51. But a minority had mixed emotions[55] about it.
52. And others sought counseling from psychiatrists, but there was not a shrink to be found; no, not one... not even a Hick-Farmer Sigmund Freud Wannabe!
53. And so Mutatis Mutandis[56] the cells evolved and grew flippers, and gills, and they learned to swim at the YMCA; they became fishes and sharks, whales, calamari, Jack Mack[57] and Octopusses;[58] birds and gnats, and mosquitoes, birds and bees, and beasts of burden, and all manner of life which creepeth upon the earth, flieth in the firmament, and liveth in the sea and in the depths thereof.
54. And some grew feathers, and wings, and beaks, and they started to fly. These became the ancestors of every flying creature from a gnat to a eagle, honey bees, hummingbirds, owls, mourning doves, sparrows and pterodactyls[59].
55. And others grew arms and legs, and quid pro quo,[60] traded gills for lungs unwittingly, and crawled out of the borboros[61] ocean onto the beach, to avoid being drowned.
56. And all of them ate seaweed, bugs, and other yucky stuff; and they longed for an Outback Steak House, but that was at least ten billion years in the future.
57. And all of them were of the same ancestry, having ab antiquo,[62] origins in the slimy borboros; ab inito, ex nihilio.
58. And after millions and billions of years by lex loci[63] of ferae naturae,[64] they evolved into all that liveth and all that moveth upon the earth, flieth in the air, and swimmeth in the sea; all creatures wherein whose nostrils (or gills) is the breath of life.
59. And at this time, there was no sentient creature upon the face of the earth.
60. And the next three billion years was Diem Tres,[65]



CHAPTER TWO

1. Throughout the millions and billions of years that followed, countless numbers of mutations, most of them harmful or fatal, occurred to the original Macro Molecules, the original cells, the multi-cellular organisms, and the primitive life that followed.
2. But all of the mutations were not harmful or fatal;
3. A very small percentage of the Per Accidens mutations had endowed the mutants with a survival advantage over the other life-forms that were present.
4. And by natural selection,[66] those life forms passed along their strongest traits to their progeny, and this resulted in the survival of the fittest, and all of the inferior life forms died off.
5. By this mechanism blindly working over billions of years, life on earth became eutaktos;[67] the apparency of design; the product of trillions of random trials and errors.
6. And so it was that guppies became sharks, geckos became dinosaurs, and mosquitoes became eagles, because all of life has a common origin ab initio.
7. Then it came to pass that one day, a pregnant Rhesus monkey got caught in some heavy beta-rays during a solar flare or something, and when the time had come for her to be delivered, behold! She gave birth to a mutant.
8. And the mutant had no hair, and when the mama monkey saw her baby, she got very frightened, and thought that it might be dead, and ran off into the woods screaming, with a severe case of post-partum depression,[68]
9. But the mutant baby was not dead; indeed, it was very much alive, and started crying.
10. Curious about this strange crying sound, the forest animals all came by to investigate. The strange creature seemed helpless, and so a Gorilla took pity on him, picked him up, took him home, and ended up adopting the strange baby as her own.
11. Now when the boy was growing up, he was smaller and weaker than his stepbrother and stepsister, who were full-blooded gorillas.
12. And so the boy didn't get too many bananas; as his Simian siblings were constantly beating him into the trees. Poor baby; he couldn't climb worth a damn. He couldn't jump worth a shit, either.
13. But what he lacked in a tail, and monkey paws to grab tree limbs with, was more than compensated for by a bigger brain, and he eventually figured out that he could get more food with less effort by just stealing it out of the refrigerator while everybody else was asleep.
14. And so he stole bananas to his heart's content, and the apes never missed them, because they couldn’t count the bananas to begin with. Thus the boy grew tall and strong, and he called himself Adam.
15. One day, Adam was sneaking around, as boys will do, being curious about the other animals in the forest of the garden, and was confused about what he often had observed; the Eros[69] among the animals, and their mating rituals.
16. But Adam was the only creature of his kind, and he got lonely... and then his hormones started kicking in, and then he was in real trouble.
17. Around the time Adam came of age, he started hanging around Lake Budd Wiser, trying in vain to find a mate. However, all of the apes were “butt-ugly”, he thought to himself.
18. And it happened one night as it was bound to; that Adam got blasted on Mad Dog, and he was feeling no pain, and everything started lookin' good... if you get my gist.
19. Then a similarly inebriated ape female became fascinated with the handsome young man, and so she introduced herself, and took him to her crib.
20. And Adam, oblivious to his sensibilities, and not really giving a shit, fell to temptation... if you can call it ''temptation”.
21. They had just lit their cigarettes, when Papa Ape showed up, and caught them in flagrante delicto[70].
22. Adam, being very gallant, said humbly, “Mia culpa”.[71]
23. To which his female friend added, “I did this de libero arbitrio”.[72]
24. And Papa ape did what any Papa ape would do when he catches a grown man taking advantage of his teenage daughter; he went ape! He called Adam “Persona non grata”[73], and “Sakla”,[74] and tried to kill him.
25. And his daughter yelled at her Papa and said, “Nota bene',[75] I’m old enough now!”
26. This made Papa Ape even more furious, and he forbade his daughter to see Adam again.
27. And Adam, being dwarfed by this big beer-belly ape, said to himself “nolo contendere”,[76] and beat feet outa' there.
28. But the girl-ape was hopelessly enamoured of Adam, and challenged her father saying, “Quo warranto[77] do you choose my mate for me? Adam and I were in pari delicto.[78] He didn't rape me.”
29. And Papa Ape said, “I am Rex Mundi[79] around here!, and it is res judicata[80] that your lover is borboros psykhikos,[81] and not one of us. The next time I see him, I will strangle the pneuma[82] out of him. Capeesh?”[83]
30. But unbeknownst to either of them, she had conceived.
31. And a few months later, the pregnancy was obvious. In vivo was Adam's child, who would inherit all of his father's human traits.
32. One night while she was asleep, she was awakened by a vivid dream, in which a flying creature appeared to her and said to her, “Behold, thou art with child.” And she woke up in a start, and she ran and told her father.
33. When Papa ape discovered he was about to become a grandfather, he felt sorry for Adam and his daughter, and his conscience was pricked by mens rea.[84] And he sent for Adam, brought him into his cave, and suggested a Heiros Gamos,[85] and his daughter to be et Uxor.[86]
34. And so the ceremony was conducted, and Telios[87] of ab antiquo was called upon for the Morios Theos,[88] and Adam and his lover became man et Uxor.
35. And they both were naked and they were not ashamed.
36. And it came to pass when the child was born, it was a female child, but she looked just like Adam. And Adam grunted with joy, saying
37. Surely, this is flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone! And Adam kibitzed[89] with his wife over what to name her.
38. Then Adam said, “We shall name her Eve, because she was born in the late afternoon”, and being the man of the house, the matter was res judicata.
39. And the family was happy, and Eve grew strong and became a lovely and beautiful teen-ager; the envy of all living creatures.
40. One day, Adam’s wife was gathering coconuts in the forest of the garden in Eden, and fell prey to a foraging pterodactyl that swooped down and carried her off, and she was never seen or heard from again.
41. And Adam was sore troubled for this thing, and Eve, being just a child, was inconsolable with grief, but with time, it slowly passed.
42. And as she grew into womanhood, Adam taught her about all the animals, plants, and living things, and about the herbs and fruits; those things that he had learned from his infancy. And he taught Eve how to cook, and keep house, and do all the things that girls and women are supposed to do.
43. But the serpent was more subtil than any of the creatures that had evolved out of the primordial borboros.
44. And he slithered into the garden in the forest of Eden, and came up to Eve as she was gathering fever-leaf mushrooms in the cow pastures, and said;
45. “Hath the elders not said that thou mayest eat of every tree of the garden?”
46. And the woman replied, “Yea, we may eat of every tree and green herb, except that which grows in the field in the middle of the garden; of that tree we are forbidden to eat, neither are we permitted to touch it, lest we die”.
47. And the serpent said, “Nonsense! Thou shalt not surely die. And the elders doth know that eating of the tree in the middle of the garden will open your eyes, and you will become as wise as the elders.
48. But Eve was not convinced, because she trusted Adam, who had also warned her, and so she refused the Serpent’s offer politely, saying “No, thank you.”

49. But the serpent was determined, and said, “Well, what did the Elders say about smoking? Can you smoke any of the herbs, and not die?”
50. And Eve said, “What is smoking?” And the Serpent explained it to her, sans[90] the Surgeon General's warning.
51. So the Serpent had Eve gather the leaves and buds of the big Cannabis tree in the center of the garden, and lay them on a rock in the warm tropical sun to dry.
52. And when the leaves and buds were dry, the serpent produced a pack of E-Z Widers, and rolled a huge blunt, then said to Eve, “Watch this”, whereupon he slithered into the dragon's den which was adjacent to the forest, and said to the dragon, “got a light?”
53. And the dragon, awakened from his afternoon catnap, got sorely pissed off, and spewed forth fire from his nostrils, which was wholly sufficient to the task at hand.
54. And the serpent, after taking a few hits himself, brought to Eve, the smoking Blunt.
55. And when Eve saw that the tree was pleasant to the eye, and the aroma thereof was pleasant to the nostrils, and the smoke of the dried leaves and buds was desirable to make one silly and happy;
56. The woman partook of a toke of the smoke therefrom;
57. And another, and another, and then another.
58. And Eve got twisted, and she ran off giggling like a two-year-old, to find Adam.
59. When Adam heard her silly giggling and saw her running butt-naked through the garden, he caught her and admonished her saying, “Woman, what have I to do with thee?”
60. To which Eve responded by taking another toke, and then kissing Adam, giving him the prius “shotgun”.
61. And Adam caught a buzz, and thought to himself, “This is better than Bud-Wiser.”
62. So soon, Adam and Eve fell in flagrante delicto, and there was nobody who cared; and besides, whom could they be reported to?
63. But they were happy together, being Sui Generis, in bed smoking blunts, eating Twinkies, and munching on Doritos.
64. And suddenly the voice of Nada thundered from the depths of the forest, as the Serpent peeped out from behind a bush;

65. The voice called to Adam in the cool of the day saying, “What the Hell hast thou done?”
66. Adam's mens rea was quick to answer, “Well, I know that she's my daughter, but...”
67. And the voice cut him off in mid-sentence: “no, not THAT; did you eat of the tree in the center of the garden, whereof thine Elders hath told thee “Thou shalt not even TOUCH it?”
68. And Adam replied, “No, we did not EAT of the tree, but the woman that Evolution hath given to me, she hath given me shotgun of the burning dried leaves, and of the buds of the tree in question, and I did take a few tokes... But I didn't inhale...”
69. And the voice turned to Eve and said, “What hast thou to say for thyself, young lady?”
70. And Eve, typical of a teen-ager replied, “Respondeat Superior,[91] man! The Serpent, he beguiled me, and besides, nobody never said nuthin' 'bout smokin' trees, man!, so chill out”, and then she turned to Adam and asked “Got any more onion dip, babe?”
71. And the voice of Nada turned to the Serpent and said, “Sakla! Because thou hast done this thing; because thou hast taken from my private stash; you are cursed and banished from this place forever. Get the hell out! Dee-dee mau![92]”
72. And a great thunder rolled out of the sky, and echoed through the mountains surrounding the forest of the Garden in Eden. And a big machete appeared ex nihilio and chopped the Serpent's legs off... All thirty six of them!
73. And Nada screamed, “On thy belly shalt thou go all the days of thy life, you paraplegic bastard! Eat dirt and die!” And the three of them dee-dee-mau'ed[93] out of the garden, never to return again.


CHAPTER THREE

1. As Adam and Eve ran from the forest, Eve started giggling uncontrollably, collapsing on the grass, exhausted.
2. And Adam said to her, “What's so funny? - We just got evicted from the best crib on the planet!” And Eve responded, “Yo, Adam, that Nada dude was mad funny! He chopped off Sakla's legs... Like the black knight in the forest in Monty Python's... {{Toke}} Samurai Tree-smoker hah, hah, hah!”
3. As Eve was hysterical, Adam stood there dumbfounded. He never heard of Monty Python, and he narrowly looked upon her and said, “Eve, what have I to do with thee?”
4. And she coyly looked away as she walked into the tall grass, then glancing back, saying, “Adam, sweetie, {{Toke}} you KNOW what you have to do with me.”
5. And Adam said to her, “Didst thou save the roach of the blunt of the tree thereof?”
6. And Eve replied, “Yes, dear, it's in my purse along with a key and a large bag of Doritos.”
7. And the two of them partook of the remnant of the tree, and were soon in flagrante delicto in the field of tall grass.
8. Soon it came to pass that Eve was with child, and when her time had come to be delivered, it was a boy, and they called his name Toke, because he had been conceived under the influence.
9. And by the time the tyke Toke took his first steps, Adam had reaped a bountiful harvest of the crops he had planted by the shore of the River Euphoria, especially of the seeds of the Cannabis tree which he had taken from the Serpent's blunt, from the roach thereof, and from the kilo of buds from the tree in the middle of the garden which Eve had gathered and dried in the sun.
10. And Adam had a thriving business in the crossroads of the forest, trading mad trees for coconuts, bananas, berries, and all the food his family could eat.
11. All the gorillas and apes became addicted to pot, and soon, Adam was in the Bodega business too, supplying the insatiable demand for the collateral consumables; Doritos, Onion Dip, Twinkies, Boone's Farm strawberry coolers and cherry Coca Cola.


12. And the animals of the forest were happy; the lion and the calf were friends, and children played with poisonous snakes, and there was no tooth and claw violence any more, for all of them were smoking blunts, eating Doritos, Twinkies, and onion dip like there was no tomorrow, and there was peace on earth, because everybody was chillin'.
13. And the boy Toke waxed[94] strong, and helped his father on the tree farm.
14. And the woman Eve conceived again and bore Adam another son and they called his name Bud, for obvious reasons.
15. And Adam lived 930 years and begat sons and daughters.
16. So from that time until the present, Homo Sapiens Sapiens became fruitful and multiplied upon the Earth.
17. So it came to pass that there are now 6 billion; that is to say, six thousand million human beings upon the face of the Earth.
18. And the paraplegic Serpent called Sakla, Satan, Shaytan, The Devil, The Accuser, etc., was still the craftiest, slickest, most deceptive and nefarious creature on Earth;
19. And he had enmity in his heart for mankind, because Adam and his boys had taken over his TREE business, and had cornered the market on everything from Bud Lite to Twinkies.
20. And the Serpent's influence in the courts and in the government of man is the reason we have the DEA, and the Rockefeller drug laws.



REWARD

A $250,000 REWARD is offered to anyone who can prove “evolution” using empirical scientific methodology. For those atheists who need a down payment on a house, or two or three Hummers in the driveway, put your “science” to work, and claim your fortune, or forever hold your peace. Log onto: http://www.drdino.com/ for further information.

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CONCLUSION

It should be apparent to anyone of sound mind, even half-way through the first chapter, that Genesis without God is a reductio ad absurdum,[95] but something on the order of these three chapters is what one would have to BELIEVE; to accept on FAITH, in order for Dawinian Evolution to give any credibility to bio-genesis, or for bio-genesis (life from non-life) to lend any credibility to Darwinian Evolution.

Life - any life - even the simplest amoeba or bug, is far, far too complex, and is symbiotic to too many other life-forms to have come about by chance, and there are numerous other data to confound the Godless philosopher; even a simple cell is more complex than a Space Shuttle - and it is irreducibly complex, which means that if just ONE of the thousands of interacting parts is disabled or removed, the entire organism fails to function, and dies.

All of life is symbiotic; it must co-exist simultaneously with other life forms. Therefore, if one holds to the belief that life “evolved”, then it follows logically, that all of the life-forms that are interdependent must have “evolved” simultaneously. Because almost all of life on Earth has been proven to have come about at the same time, and is an established scientific fact, evolutionists have invented an even more absurd theory called “punctuated equilibrium”, which is even a bigger crock of baloney than NeoGenesis here, and the scientific evidence against Darwinism does not stop with the evidence for intelligent design in biology.

Geological evidence properly interpreted from empirical physical evidence, reveals that the Earth is VERY YOUNG. It is certainly less than 100,000 years old; not enough time by anyone's reckoning, for the “chance mutations” of evolution theory to have produced the variations that natural selection supposedly used to drive evolution.

Quantum mechanics, a relatively new science as sciences go, reveals that space and time are DIGITAL; that is, there is a length of time that cannot be further divided. That length happens to be 1 x 10-43 seconds. There is also a measure of distance (or length, etc.), which is 1 x 10-33 centimeters, which cannot be divided into a smaller unit. This ought to tell us some profound things about the composition of the universe, and all that is in it.

Most notably, over 50 years ago, the existence of the human soul was proven scientifically in Dianetics, by author and humanitarian L. Ron Hubbard (LRH). He started in the 1930's, and developed his own “theory of evolution”, which he later abandoned as “totally unworkable”, and “nonsense”. However, by a fantastically simple mathematical deduction, the existence of a soul (or “Thetan”) was proven:

Basically, the proof is in the fact that a human brain contains approximately 15 trillion cells 15 x 1012 - in 10-bit “bytes” (to keep the math as simple as possible here), this works out to 1.5 terabytes or 1,500 gigabytes; approximately three top-of-the-line Personal Computers (a/o 2004). Since it could be demonstrated by hundreds of thousands of repeatable experiments that a person could recall in detail, every sound, and every word, and every perception (even when unconscious or under anesthesia) since the moment of CONCEPTION (not birth; CONCEPTION), the logical question to ask is “Where is all this data stored?” Certainly, 1.5 Terabytes is one HELL of a PC, but even all that storage capacity is hardly enough to record a week's worth of data in the resolution and detail that it can be empirically proven it is stored at. And so it was postulated that this information is kept OUTSIDE of the physical brain (organ), and that the brain is merely a switchboard of sorts, that enables the soul or “Thetan'' as it is called by Scientologists, to use the body to interact with the physical universe. When the body dies, the soul remains; and it is the soul, which has the knowledge, experience, and personality of the physical person; the SOUL is the person, which is using a body for a time; fourscore and ten, on the average. This is the best scientific evidence, the Word of God notwithstanding, that when you look at a fellow human being, you DON'T see all that there is.


King David said it best in when he wrote:

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” - Psalms 139:14 (KJV)

“…. The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.” – Psalm 14:1b (KJV)

“See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.” – Deuteronomy 32:39 (KJV)


AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Thank you for downloading this little humorous treatise. Show it to an unbelieving friend. Although parts of this tome are patently ridiculous (that’s what makes it funny), it is not far from what one would have to believe if he or she believes in “Big Bangs” or the theory of (Darwinian) Evolution.
Godspeed.




INTERNET LINKS

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OTHER TITLES BY DAVID TODESCHINI
Bookstore: www.LuLu.com/Net4TruthUSA

Land of Childhood’s Fears – Faith, Friendship, and The Vietnam War
http://www.lulu.com/content/101852 ISBN # 1-4116-2452-1

A Synthesis of the Russian Brainwashing Manual on Psychopolitics
http://www.lulu.com/content/88275. ISBN 1-4116-1822-X

The Lie Detection Manual
http://www.lulu.com/content/88212 ISBN 1-4116-1821-1

Entertaining Angels – Bible Bedtime Stories for Children
http://www.lulu.com/content/104158

Vet’s Rap Sessions - a chapter from “Land of Childhood’s Fears – Faith, Friendship, and the Vietnam War”
http://www.lulu.com/content/89004

Psychiatry and Confession – a reprint of a 1948 publication of the Catholic Church w/commentary
http://www.lulu.com/content/87831.

The Sexual Paraphilias – Therapy by Hick-Farmer Sigmund Freud Wannabes
http://www.lulu.com/content/91782

The Battered Spouse and The Abused Child
http://www.lulu.com/content/88267.

Please Don’t Do This – A book for women contemplating an abortion (pro life)
http://www.lulu.com/content/89914

The Book of NeoGenesis
http://www.lulu.com/content/89015

Psychiatry, Mind Control, Genocide and Infanticide
http://www.lulu.com/content/92111

Net4TruthUSA – NEWSLETTERS
DECEMBER 2004 issue# 1 volume 1 http://www.lulu.com/content/93202

There are a number of free items on our bookstore website – from poetry to greeting cards – visit www.LuLu.com/Net4TruthUSA often, because we are always adding new things to our expanding bookstore.
[1] You may copy and distribute this document or PDF file ONLY IN ITS ENTIRETY and NOT FOR PROFIT.
[2] Atheist – someone who denies the existence of God.
[3] Agnostic – someone who isn’t smart enough to make up his mind if there’s a God or not.
[4] Big Bangers – people who believe that “nothing” exploded and created the universe.
[5] Evolutionists – people who ultimately believe that life “evolved” from dissolved rocks billions of years ago, by a process that they cannot define.
[6] In vivo - in / inside a living body.
[7] Postulate(d) - a thought with intent to act.
[8] Prime Mover Unmoved - God; primal cause by a spiritual or non-corporeal entity.
[9] DNA - Di-ribo-Nucleic Acid, the information blueprint carried by all living things. DNA is proof of a common designer for life.
[10] See; 1 Timothy 6:20, 21 (KJV)
[11] Ex-post Facto - “after the fact”.
[12] Singularity - a theoretical mass of zero size (volume) and infinite density.
[13] Apparency - that which appears to be, but is not.
[14] Sentient - aware of being aware - only humans and God are sentient.
[15] Nada - nothing (Spanish).
[16] Ab Initio - “In the beginning”.
[17] Per Se' - of itself.
[18] Ennoia sans mentis - primal thought without mind.
[19] Niente' - nothing (Italian).
[20] Semper Eadem - always the same.
[21] Zilch - zero, nothing.
[22] Ennoia - first thought (primal).
[23] Per Accidens - by accident, happening by chance or luck.
[24] Terribilus Es Locus Iste - this is a terrible place (from Genesis 28:17).
[25] Pro Se' - on one's own behalf; on your own.
[26] Sui Generis - in a class by itself; one-of-a-kind, unique.
[27] Sua Sponte - voluntarily, without prompting; spontaneous.
[28] Ergo - therefore.
[29] Non sequiteur - it does not (logically, rationally) follow.
[30] Visceral - a gut feeling; of the viscera (guts).
[31] Non compos mentis - not mentally competent; not of sound mind.
[32] In situ - in the original place.
[33] Quantum - a unit of measure which cannot be divided, and is irreducibly small.
[34] Prius Diem - the first day.
[35] Ex Nihilio - (literally) out of nothing, from nothing.
[36] In Limine - at the beginning; primarily.
[37] Mundo De Novo - newly-created world or universe.
[38] Evolved - (evolution) - gradual changes in a living organism postulated to occur over extremely long periods.
[39] Secundum Diem - the second day.
[40] Aquam Dare - grant water; let there be water.
[41] Primordial - pre-historic and pre-life (of any form).
[42] Mad Dog 20/20 - Mogen David “pint” wine, 20% alcohol, usually consumed by derilicts on the street.
[43] Macro Molecules - large (long, complex) molecules.
[44] Ataktos - disordered, random, chaotic.
[45] Inter Se' - among themselves.
[46] Animus - intention, disposition, design or will.
[47] Androgyne - having both male and female properties.
[48] Sans Parentis - without parents.
[49] In Loco Parentis - in the place of parents.
[50] Ad infinitum - infinite, never-ending.
[51] Ejusdem Generis - of the same kind, class, or nature.
[52] Mutate / Mutations - to change abruptly or unexpectedly.
[53] Bona Fide - in good faith, trusting.
[54] Pro Bono Publico - for the public good.
[55] Mixed emotions - conflicting; as love-hate; trust-fear, etc.
[56] Mutatis Mutandis - with the necessary or required changes.
[57] Jack Mack - Jack Mackeral; a scavenger fish popular in prisons as cell-cooked meals.
[58] Octopusses - (sic) - plural of octopus.
[59] Pterodactyl - a prehistoric bird, like a very large bat.
[60] Quid Pro Quo - something in exchange (for something else).
[61] Borboros – filthy; muddy; unclean.
[62] Ab antiquo - of old; antique; from antiquity.
[63] Lex Loci - the (local) law of the place.
[64] Ferae Naturae - feral nature; wild.
[65] Diem Tres - third day.
[66] Natural selection - the proposition that nature allows only the “fittest” to survive.
[67] Eutaktos - well-ordered, organized.
[68] Post-Partum Depression - A depressed condition sometimes occurring after giving birth.
[69] Eros - sexual love or arousal.
[70] Flagrante delicto - in the very act.
[71] Culpa - fault, blame, responsibility; Mia Culpa “my fault”.
[72] De libero arbitrio voluntatis - by one's own free will, voluntary.
[73] Persona Non Grata - a person who is considered unacceptable.
[74] Sakla - Aramaic name for Satan.
[75] Nota bene' - an instruction to “note well”.
[76] Nolo Contendere - I will not contest it; no contest.
[77] Quo warranto - by what authority?
[78] In pari delicto - equally at fault or to blame.
[79] Rex Mundi - King of the world.
[80] Res judicata - a thing judged or (already) adjudicated.
[81] Psykhikos - merely animate.
[82] Pneuma - breath or soul; wind (air blowing).
[83] Capeesh - (slang) Italian )sic) “understand?”
[84] Mens Rea - a guilty mind; conscience.
[85] Heiros gamos - sacred marriage.
[86] Et uxor - “and wife”.
[87] Telios - all-powerful.
[88] Morios Theos - the Divine part, portion, or function.
[89] Kibbitz (ed) - consult (ed), discuss (ed) with.
[90] Sans – “without”.
[91] Respondeat superior - let the master (superior) answer.
[92] Dee-dee mau (sic – Vietnamese) “run quickly”; “run away”.
[93] Dee-Dee-Mau (sic) - Vietnamese - to flee; to run rapidly away.
[94] Waxed – (archaic form) – “became” or “grew” in this context.
[95] Reductio ad absurdum - an absurd conclusion; reduced to absurdity.